i feel a little better after i realized this
i was looking through all the pictures of homes that i wish i could live in in the future, things i might have been able to own, in general the life that i could have lived. if i had just spent this much more time studying, or stayed in that one day to study instead of going out with my friends, maybe i would have gotten better grades. which might have led me to get a better job, make more money, have the DREAM life. really be happy.
but then i thought, what does future happiness mean to my present? i thought about it, and i realized. it means nothing.
whats the point of creating your perfect future, your perfect ending, if you are going to be unhappy along the way. thats why im glad i went out with my friends that one night, or spent extra time dancing instead of studying.
this is all good and dandy and what not, but why am i still so fucking sad?
